


Porn With Math (A Solve Your Own Porn Story)

by orphan_account



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Math Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 03:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21112226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Today I went to my grandma's house and had a funny time there. She gave us carrot cake, but I don't like carrot cake. Anyways, I thought this would be a funny story, haha, I worked on it today instead of doing my homework. My room still isn't clean. Please enjoy my story oh wow I'm so bad at descriptions heheh please reads its good trust me.





	1. Oh God, Fuck Math. Fuck Math! Ahh! Ahhh! I'm integrating!

**Author's Note:**

> :)

The hotel that they were stuck at only had  ∫(4-2) ( sqrt(ln(9-x)))/(sqrt(ln(9-x)) + sqrt(ln(x+3))) dx bed, Chloe resigns with a sigh. She’s going to have to share the hotel with Lucifer. It’s not that she wasn’t mature enough that she couldn’t share a bed with her partner, she just didn’t wanna hear it from Lucifer. All the jokes, the implications. Especially with how exhausted she was, she just wanted to go to bed without any fuss.

So the sqrt^3(sqrt(108)+10)-sqrt^3(sqrt(108)-10) enter the hotel room, Chloe immediately taking off her shoes with a sigh and falling onto the bed.

Lucifer doesn’t say a thing and just flops right next to her. 

Her eyes open, she sits up and stares at him, “oh no, we’re not doing this.”

“You’re going to kick me off to sleep on the floor?”

She nods, “I’ll get some extra blankets, it will be cushiony.”

“Cushiony...I’ve had floors in hell that were more sanitary and comfortable than that,” he points to the floor: carpet that looks like it hasn’t been replaced since the hotel first opened. Probably the year ((2*sqrt^3(30659)*3^(⅔)/3)^2)/3 * 9*(2*sqrt^3(30659)*3^(⅔)/3)/124))...maybe even older.

She grimaces, “god, fine. But stay on your side.”

Immediately Lucifer kicks off his shoes next and practically bounces into the bed, making Chloe regret ever agreeing to take this case.

For the next chapter please solve this problem:

∫(1-0) (x^4)*(e^(6x)) dx 


	2. I’m An English Major And I Hate You

Please don’t hate me.


	3. 25/4*π

Wrong answer man.


	4. A = 1, B = -1, C = -1

They woke up entangled in each other’s arms, the night had tired them both out and Chloe was finally able to get some sleep.

Still, they haven’t talked about it, Chloe realizes as she blinks awake and stares at Lucifer still sleeping. She sighs, and wants to cuddle back into his arms, but they still have a case they need to work on.

Instead she showers and gets dressed, looking as if she didn’t just wake up after a night full of first time sex in a hotel room. Lucifer is up as well, by the time she’s out of the shower.

“I think we should finally talk about this,” Chloe says, biting her lip. “Do you want to be more than just...friends?”

He replies: “int x; integral(3,2) int integral(int a, int b){ (1)/(sqrt(3-x)); return x;} if(x == 2){system.out.println(“yes”);}else{system.out.println(“no.”)};”


	5. e - 2

You got the wrong answer.


	6. (31*(e^(6-1)))/(324)

Lucifer was surprisingly mature about having to share the bed, not making any more jokes about it, and even kept the space between them.

It doesn’t help that she can’t seem to fall asleep, the case details still in her head, refusing to shut off. Nor does it help that the man that she has been kinda-sorta romantically off and on is laying right next to her. She stares at the ceiling, which was just pitch black, listens to the A/C unit rattle on then off.

But still, nothing. She cannot seem to fall asleep.

Lucifer turns to face her, softly asking her, “can’t sleep?” None of his usual loud self is here, no facades put up, it's just her and him. In the same bed. With years worth of tension and kisses they refused to talk about between them.

“No.” She pauses for a few moments. Then she turns to face him as well and says, 

For the next chapter please solve this problem:

lim x→∞ (3x² + x)/(x² + 1)


	7. I’m Not An English Major And I Still Hate You

Okay. :(


	8. ((-20/3)*(e^-30)-(2/9)*(e^-20)) + (2/9)

This is definitely the wrong answer. I think you clicked on this cause it looks long and has them wacky e’s.


	9. 3

“My mind won’t turn off I guess.”

“The case?”

She nods, but then realizes he probably can’t see her nod, “that and some other things.”

Lucifer adjusts in the bed, still keeping the distance between them. How stupid and immature that she told him that he has to stay at the very edge of the bed. She thinks about it, they’re both adults, they shouldn’t be tiptoeing around this anymore. “We never really discussed that kiss.”

There’s silence then she continues, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” A moment more then, “did you want to talk about it?”

Chloe doesn’t really, she moves closer and gets straight to the point and kisses him. It’s very chaste, at first, then Lucifer deepens the kiss, still on his side of the fucking bed. Chloe breaks the kiss and says, “you don’t have to listen to my dumb rule about staying on that side of the bed.”

“Good,” Lucifer replies and finally pulls himself closer to her side, continuing the kiss. He doesn’t move any further than that, following Chloe’s pace and what she wants to do.

And apparently she wants to take off his shirt, running her fingers down his skin until they’re onto the bottoms, which she tugs off next. He obliges, and does the same for her, both undressing each other until they’re kissing each other deeply - skin on skin.

Chloe finally goes to the more obvious move, she definitely wants more than just kissing, and wraps her hand around his dick. His dick felt like like  _ y = |sin(x)| + 5*exp(-x^100)*cos(x) from -3 to 3 _ , except longer.

She’s ready for him, and they adjust, Lucifer entering how and Chloe accepting.

For the next chapter please solve this problem:

(10)/((x-1)(x^2+9))dx


	10. 0.95/2=0.95xdx

Nah, wrong answer.


End file.
